How Not To Get A Date In The Pegasus Galaxy
by Lee Davies
Summary: Madness and scaring will occur...
1. Chapter 1

_This piece of madness was inspired by "Things Not to Do at The SGC", "SGC Pickup Lines" and "The Atlantis Handbook". Enjoy and please read and review with any ideas/suggestions!_

1. Want to go to the mainland with me? I'll even let you steer the puddlejumper…

_Teyla: No._

_Sheppard: Why not?_

_Teyla: Just…no._

2. Would you like to assist me in measuring the square feet in my quarters?

_Rodney-Radek, that is SO wrong!_

_Radek: Was not asking you, so get over it! Besides, I already have taker…_

_Rodney: shudder_

3. My poor lonely tongue depressor would LOVE to be your new friend…

_Sheppard: Carson, you are a SICK man. Don't tell me that actually works…_

_Carson: A true gentleman never kisses and tells, so I can't tell you anything._

_Teyla: But I should know…_

_Sheppard: AHHH!_

_Radek: Hey, all of you, less tonsil hockey, more work!_

_Elizabeth: Radek, are you REALLY sure you mean that?_

_Radek: gulp Ummmm…no?_

_Miko: More tonsil hockey. Less work!_

_Radek: I knew this place was madhouse…_

_Elizabeth: And I've got the maddest house here…_

_Radek: Yes… all 398 square feet of it…_

_Rodney: EWWW! Will ALL of you stop it, please?_

4. Come on…I've got an accent!

_Sheppard: Grodin, if that's your best, no wonder you don't have any dates…_

_Grodin: I'll be back…_

_Sheppard: What are you now, the Governator?_

5. You can be my Hive Queen anytime…

_Sheppard: How in the hell did Steve get out? SECURITY!_

6. I've got the fingers to do the dialing and we can discover whole new worlds together…

_Sheppard: Finally! Go Grodin!_

_Grodin: Sadly, it has yet to work…_

_Carson: You didn't ask Nurse Fitzgerald, did you?_

_Fitzgerald: No, he didn't…believe me, if he had, he wouldn't be writing on this board right now…_

_Grodin: Wanna see my Alpha Site?_

_Fitzgerald: Start dialing, big boy._

_Sheppard: GET A ROOM!_

_Carson: NOT IN THE INFIRMARY! Oh, for the love of God…_

7. Care to study Athosian culture more closely?

_Teyla: Jinto! If your father finds this, he will be most displeased with you._

_Jinto: IF he finds it…_

_Halling: JINTO!_

_Jinto: Uh oh…_

8. I'm the commander of the Dedalus and I bet I can make you fly…

_Weir: EWWW! Cauldwell. That's just NASTY!_

_Radek: Vyliz mi prdel, mamrd!_

_Weir: Radek! I can NOT believe you just said that!_


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to all who have read and reviewed. Here's the second installment and if you guys have any ideas, I'll pretty much take anything under advisement. Enjoy!

9. Athosian Fighting Sticks are not my only strength…

_Sheppard: HALLING!_

_Jinto: And **I **got yelled at for writing something…_

10. Come dock in my jumper bay as often as you'd like…

_Carson: Good Lord Sheppard, that's sickening!_

_Kate: You're telling me, Beckett…_

_Carson: Seesh lad, you really get around!_

_Kate: Unfortunately for me._

11. I'm Czech, but I have no mate.

_Sheppard: Puhleeze Radek…lame!_

_Elizabeth: How about a game of strip chess?_

_Everyone else except Radek: AAAHHHH!_

12. My lab or your office?

_Sheppard: McKay, that was even lamer than Zelenka's…and I really didn't think that was possible._

_Kate: My office does have the cushy couch…_

_Rodney: Good point…but mine has the lab tables. Anatomy 101?_

_Kate: I DO need a refresher course…_

_Everyone: EWWWW!_

13. I guess my wish on a falling star came true…here you are.

_Kate: Awww…death by cute!_

_Sheppard: snort_

_Carson: I'll have you know that line works VERY well._

_Sheppard: When in the last hundred years has anybody used it except you?_

_Teyla: It felt like a hundred years before you came, Carson._

_Kate: Awwww…aren't they just PRECIOUS?_

_Miko: We have Rodney and Kate for UST, Sheppard as our Intergalatic Man Wench, the gag us with their cuteness couple, and then the King and Queen of Atlantis who Czechmate each other every night!_

_Rodney: shudder I'll have you know that we do NOT have any UST._

_Sheppard: That's right! I forgot that you two are the kinky scientists._

_Rodney: Hey, we're VERY proud of that fact, thank you very much!_

_Kate: I'll be in my office moaning and bewailing the fact that my man is broadcasting our sex life on here…_

_Miko: At least you have one!_

_Kate: A man or a sex life?_

_Miko: Right now, I'd settle for either._

_Sheppard: You rang?_

_Miko: I said a MAN…not walking male bravado!_

_Kavanaugh: What about me?_

_Miko: If this is the best offer I get today, please shoot me now…_

_Major Lorne: Me?_

_Miko: Come on, Lorne…I'll show you some "Memoirs of a Geisha" that you're not going to be forgetting anytime soon!_

_Radek: Too much information!_

_Rodney: Look who's talking…_

14. I'm from Australia…wanna see why they call it the "Great Barrier Reef"?

-Dr. Nick Johnson, Biologist

_Katie Brown: Tell me where and when…_

_Nick: Ummm…that wasn't an offer I'm afraid…_

_Katie: Come on! Everybody else in this city is getting some!_

_Nick: I think my wife would have some objections to that…_

_Katie: CRAP!_

_Halling: I am available._

_Katie: Sweet! Let's see how the Athosians get this party started!_

_Carson: Oh, it'll be one hell of a party…trust me._

15. Let's put the laws of motion into play and see how much torque we can create…

_Rodney: How in the blue HELL did Sam Carter manage to write on this thing?_

_Radek: Wouldn't you like to know…_

_Rodney: Not really…I'd probably be highly disturbed._

_Carson: Actually, she and General O'Neill just arrived here to review Atlantis…one room at a time._

_Radek: My money's on quadruplets._

_Elizabeth: Umm Rodney? They're in your lab…_

_Rodney: That's okay. I'm late for my "therapy" anyway… grin_

_Sam: EWWW!_

_Carson: Done so soon?_

_Sam: With the lab at least._

_Carson: Go near my infirmary and DIE._

_Sam: Duly noted!_

_Elizabeth: Same goes for my office!_

_Sam: Too late…_

16. I must have the virus of the touched, 'cuz I want you to be mine right now!

_Sam: JACK!_

_Jack: It wasn't me! I don't have a death wish!_

_Sam: Then how did they find out?_

_Jack: I don't know!_

_Radek: Dr. Jackson cannot hold his liquor… evil smile_

_Sam: DANIEL!_

_Daniel: You called?_

_Sam: Did you ascend again?_

_Daniel: You know, ascension is a funny thing…_

_Sam: I'll take that as a yes._

_Daniel: Well…ummm…yeah._

_Jack: Were you planning on descending anytime soon?_

_Daniel: Dr. Weir, is your office open?_

_Elizabeth: Yep, and there's even a flag in there for you._

_Nurse Evans: Talk about Old Glory…_

_Sam: TMI!_

_Daniel: Ladies, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have "Property of Janet Fraiser" tattooed on my butt in 10 different languages._

_Jack: SO not asking._

_Nurse Evans: Is English one of them?_

_Daniel: Yep._

_Nurse Evans. Damn!_

_Jack: So sad for you..._


	3. Chapter 3

17. Would you like to go over my big bang theory with me?

_Sheppard-Oh man Radek, that's HORRIBLE!_

_Radek: Look who is talking._

_Elizabeth: Besides, I think I've already got the general thrust of it anyway…_

_Rodney: SCARRED FOR LIFE!_

_Kate: Oy. That's all I can say. Oy._

18. I've just gotten some new information downloaded into my mainframe. Press enter and I'm all yours…

_Sheppard: Rodney, you need some HELP!_

_Kate: Oh I'll push enter for you…_

_Sheppard: WAYYY too much information!_

_Weir: Just a little…_

_Sheppard: I thought you were reviewing Zelenka's "Big Bang" theory…_

_Weir: His theory is VERY sound, thank you._

_Sheppard: AAHHH!_

_Jack: You're telling me, Sheppard…_

19. Do you prefer to sing, or scream?

_Rodney: And Sheppard says MY pickup lines are lame…_

_Teyla: I would take yours over his._

_Rodney: Really? I feel special now!_

_Carson: Yes, but I'm even MORE special._

_Rodney: SO not thinking about this. Does anybody have some brain shampoo I could use? I think my cerebellum is in revolt._

_Kate: I don't have any brain shampoo, but you're welcome to come use my shower anytime you want…_

_Carson and Teyla: AAAAHHH!_

20. If I was a planet, you'd be my sun so I could revolve around you all day.

_Sheppard: Nice one Grodin!_

_Weir: Awww…my little Gate dialer is all grown up…_

_Radek: One day they can't even get a date and before you know it, they're in a heated relationship with one of the nurses._

_Rodney: That gives "speed dating" a whole 'nother meaning…_

(Props and thanks go to BookWorm37 for this next one)

21. You know that the definition of inertia is bodies in motion tend to stay in motion ... wanna test it out?

_Sheppard: Boy Zelenka, you're really on one today!_

_Radek: I am indeed on one…quite often…_

_Sheppard: EESH! Keep that crap to yourself before I spork my brains out so I'll be able to forget some of this!_

_Rodney: When I finally develop some brain shampoo, you can be my guinea pig._

22. You. Me. How 'bout it?

_Rodney: I think you might to work on this stuff a little more Lorne…_

_Lorne: Hey, I'll have you know that Miko liked it!_

_Rodney: Well Miko likes YOU, not necessarily the line itself._

_Lorne: Oh…_

_Miko: Come on Lorne…we haven't defiled Dr. Zelenka's lab yet._

_Rodney: You don't want to go in there…trust me. The chess match is still going on…_

23. I'd blow up five sixths of a solar system just to get one kiss from you…

_Weir: Oh geez Rodney! Gag me!_

_Radek: That can be arranged…_

_Sheppard: Great! Now we've got ANOTHER kinky scientist around here! As if two weren't bad enough…_

_Miko: I don't know…it's kinda cute._

_Sheppard: You're a sick person, Miko._

_Miko: Like you'd know, Sheppard._

_Sheppard: Hey, I offered!_

_Miko: Yes, but I am intelligent which is why I declined._

_Carson: BURN!_

_Sheppard: Oh shut up._

24. I'm like naquadah in your hands…do whatever you want with me.

_Sheppard: Looks like General O'Neill still has it…_

_Teal'c: Indeed._

_Weir: When did YOU get here?_

_Teal'c: Your gate dialer was…distracted._

_Weir: PETER! NO MAKING OUT IN THE GATE ROOM!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry for the slow update, but with moving into a new house, a car accident, double ear infection and my mother getting gout, it hasn't exactly been sunshine and roses over here! As always, any ideas will be considered and usually used so come on people! Let your smutty minds run amuck!

* * *

_

(These first two are from BookWorm37)

25. You can dial my address any time ... I'll even let you past my iris.

_Sheppard: Walter, go home! That is just WRONG!_

_Walter: Hey, if Grodin gets to say something, so do I!_

_Jack: Walter, do you still want to be able to retire to the Bahamas?_

_Walter: Duly noted, sir…_

26. Is your middle name coffee? Cuz you could make me go for hours…

_Rodney: Dr. Jackson! Good lord…_

_Jack: Now you know why we NEVER mention coffee when he or Dr. Frasier are around._

_Rodney: No kidding…_

_Elizabeth: Hey! Who found out my middle name means "coffee"?!?_

_Daniel: AAAHHHHH!!!!_

_Radek: I didn't tell anyone! I swear! Besides, I gave up coffee 2 months ago._

_Elizabeth: And yet, you still manage to Czechmate me at 3 in the morning…_

_Laura: STOP NOW! I think I'm going to have to book a therapy session with myself…shudder._

27. One kiss from you and I'll be your Supernova…

_Daniel: Jack, please tell me this doesn't work…_

_Jack: Danny boy, that would be kissing and telling._

_Rodney: Besides, we can probably already guess the outcome of that one already!_

_Elizabeth: No kidding…they're kinda predictable._

_Carson: Look who's talking!_

28. Jaffas do it better.

_Jack: Teal'c! That is just SO wrong!_

_Sam: Besides which it's completely unfounded…not that I'm volunteering to do any research, mind you…_

_Rodney: Just ask Katie Brown…Halling had to go back to the mainland, so she can give us a full report…not that we really want one…_

_Katie: Sweet!_

_Radek: Can you EVER just shut up?!?_

29. Anytime you need power, I'd be happy to plug my ZPM in…

_Sheppard: RODNEY! That is SICK!_

_Jack: No kidding!_

_Sam: Ewwww…I think I need a session with Dr. Heightmeyer now…_

_Radek: Where do you think his ZPM is plugged in?_

_Everyone: RADEK SHUT UP!!!!!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks to everyone for their suggestions and keep 'em coming, people!

* * *

_

_(This one is courtesy of FairyGirlIsRocking)_

30. Come to the Infirmary and we can discover what the Scottish actually wear under their kilts…

_Teyla: I once knew, but I have forgotten._

_Rodney: Carson, that is SICK! Everyone knows that the Scottish don't wear anything under their kilts!_

_Teyla: That is the point._

_Grodin: I wonder how I'd look in a kilt…_

_Carson: Don't even THINK about trying to take mine…_

_Rodney: Is anyone else besides me slightly disturbed by this?_

_Kate: Oh yeah…_

_(This one comes to us from TDC)_

31. I've created 27 different religions since we got here,.. want to find out why everyone thinks I'm a god?

_Sheppard: Rodney, are you on crack or something?!?_

_Rodney: Nope…just high on Heightmeyer!_

_Elizabeth: John, you just HAD to ask, didn't you…_

_(Reefgirl submitted this one)_

32. That dress would look great in a heap on my floor…

_Teyla: So would you. Do I need to get my fighting sticks?_

_Cauldwell: It was just a joke! Dr. Beckett, put that needle down! Owww…_

_Elizabeth: Carson, remind me to give you a raise…_

_Jack: Already working on it…_

33. There's a reason why they call me "Hyperdrive"…

_Miko: And there's also a reason why they call you "delusional"._

_Sheppard: HEY!_

_Carson: She's got a point…_

_Sheppard: Butt out, Beckett._

_Radek: Ah, the truth hurts…_

34. I need a body for scientific experiments, and something tells me that yours would be perfect…

_Sam: Rodney, you are an astrophysicist, not a biologist!_

_Rodney: I'm taking the "learn at home" courses in my spare time._

_Sam: ACK!_

_Kate: I'm his lab partner._

_Radek: As well as his accomplice in scarring everyone here!_

_Rodney: Look who's talking, Mr. Chess King!_

_Radek: Yes, but who got caught skinny dipping off the south pier last week?_

_Sam: I SO did not need to know that!_

_Lorne: Trust me, neither did I…_

35. This won't hurt a bit…

_Sheppard: The next time I get shot Carson, I am NOT coming to you!_

_Elizabeth: Oy vey!_

_Kate: Hey! That's MY line!_

_Rodney: SOOO not thinking about the utter wrongness of that statement…_


	6. Chapter 6

Keep them coming, people! We might be able to make a hundred at this rate!

* * *

(These 4 are from BookWorm, who gets the special multiple line giver award! As soon as I figure out what that is, I'll give it to you, lol!)

36. Want to help me repopulate the mainland?

_Teyla: Sheppard, stop asking before Carson gets angry and your next physical is an autopsy._

_Sheppard: You have to be dead to get one of those…_

_Carson: I'd be willing to make an exception if you don't stop hitting on my girlfriend!_

_Sheppard: Duly noted!_

37. You know, they told me that everything from Texas is bigger ... care to perform an experiment?

_Katie Brown: Sure! I need some more subjects for my man study anyway…_

_Sheppard: I did NOT need to know that!_

_Katie: Nobody was asking you, Kirk._

_Sheppard: WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP CALLING ME THAT?!?_

_Radek: Stop deserving it, and we'll think about it…_

38. Is it hot in here, or are you a Supernova?

_Kate Heightmeyer: You should know, Rodney…_

_Radek: This is so wrong…_

_Rodney: Look who's talking! You and your "Queen" have forever ruined chess for me!_

_Radek: 1 life mission down, 2 more to go…_

39. Are you sure you're not a Wraith? Because you've already drained my will to be apart from you…

_Rodney: Only you could turn something about our enemies into a pickup line, Carson…just please tell me this one doesn't work…_

_Carson: Rodney, as much as it desolates me to disappoint you…_

_Rodney: Just stop there before I amass further scar tissue in my already half scarred brain…_

_Elizabeth: Join the club, Rodney!_

(These two are offerings from Reefgirl)

40. You must be tired as you've been running through my mind all night…

_Sheppard: Nice one Lorne! Have you been taking lessons?_

_Lorne: Dr. Beckett and Dr. Zelenka have been tutoring me._

_Sheppard: You didn't ask me?!?_

_Lorne: Since most of yours just make the women mad at you, I figured it would be much safer to ask the guys who are actually getting some…_

_Radek: I do not wish to be smug, but…So sad for you!_

_Sheppard: Grrr…_

41. I love wide open spaces, don't you?

_Kate: Especially when there is no one else around…_

_Teyla: I think I know how some of the children on the mainland got scarred now…_

_Radek: Poor children…having to see that…_

_Carson: No kidding…and there goes any hope of therapy!_

(These 2 are from nwfairy)

42. You know positive protons are attracted to negative electrons… I think we could charge up this place.  
_Rodney: John, that sounds something that Radek would come up with…  
Radek: HEY! I will have you know that mine are MUCH better._

_Elizabeth: Ain't that the truth…_

_Rodney: Ewwww…_

43. Ja hodlat ty horky. Ty prat si prodrobit pohalvi?  
_Elizabeth: Hell yeah. Same time, same place?_

_Radek: Of course!_

_Sheppard: What in the hell does that say… or do I really want to know?_

_Teyla: It translates to, "I think you are attractive. Do you wish to procreate?"_

_Rodney: How did you learn to speak Czech?_

_Teyla: I was bored, so I asked Dr. Zelenka to instruct me. He taught me the more…useful…phrases._

_Carson: And they are indeed useful!_

_Sheppard: TMI! TMI!_

(This is from TDC. I tweaked it a little bit but it's still the same basic line)

44. You may think I'm conceited, but my ego is the size of my…

_Teyla: In your dreams, and not even then Sheppard. I'm still laughing from the time I accidently walked in on you in the shower._

_Kate: Oh Teyla, you poor thing…_

_Teyla: I need Carson therapy for about a month afterward…_

_Elizabeth: THAT bad?!?_

_Teyla: Indeed._

_Sheppard: What is this?!? Intergalactic Bash Me Day?_

_Carson: Now that it's official…_

_Sheppard: That's it! I'm going to become a hermit!_

_Radek: You're half there already…all you need to do now is move somewhere where you are the only living things there and it's all set!_

_Sheppard: Ha ha, very funny Radek…_

_Radek: Well, you got the celibacy part down already…_

_Rodney: Oooh! Burn!_

_Sheppard: Shut up Rodney!_

_Rodney: Make me!_

_Sheppard: No thanks!_

_Radek: Kate would kill you, anyway…_

_Kate: Darn straight!_

_Sheppard: Ewww! I am NOT after Rodney!_

_Radek: Uh huh…sure…._

_Sheppard: AAAHHHH!!!!_

45. I don't need exercise…just looking at you gives my heart the only workout it'll ever need.

_Teyla: You look at me that much?_

_Carson: Every second I can spare…_

_Elizabeth: Awww…so cute! I think I'm going to gag…_

_Radek: Pass the barf bucket…_

_Rodney: I want it when you're done with it._

_Radek: You have deal._

46. Let me hide you in my room…once everyone else sees what a treasure you are, they'll want to steal you for themselves.

_Rodney: That's actually pretty classy, Radek…_

_Elizabeth: Now you know why I keep him._

_Kate: Rodney, why can't YOU say stuff like that?_

_Lorne: Thanks for getting the women's expectations up, Dr. Z!_

_Radek: I will tutor…keep shirts on already!_


	7. Chapter 7

I recieved an e-mail from someone concerned about there being a little meaness towards Sheppard, so just to show that I do NOT hate the Sheppard, I made an effort to be nice to him in this chapter. Other than that, feel free to suggest lines and happy reading!

* * *

47. If beauty was the measure of eligibility for nobility, you'd definitely be a queen. 

_Teyla: That was very nice, John!_

_Sheppard: See, I CAN be classy when I want to be!_

_Rodney: I hate to say it, but not bad at all…_

_Kate: I actually kinda like the classy ones…not that the other ones are bad, but classy is a nice change._

(These next four are from nwfairy…gotta keep it up BookWorm!)

48. Your sweat is sexy.

_Teyla: John! Just when I thought you were classy! -smacks-_

_Sheppard: It wasn't me, honest!_

_Teyla: -confused- I apologize for the smacking…but who was it?_

_Ronan: -runs-_

_Carson: You'd better run or I'm going to stick that Wraith tracker back where it was!_

49. I have the hands of a healer.

_Rodney: And that works Carson?_

_Carson: -smiles- That's for me to know and you to lie asleep and have nightmares about…_

_Elizabeth: He's not the only one who's going to be having nightmares about that!_

_Sheppard: No kidding…_

50. I have the keys to a castle. You want to be my queen?  
_  
Kate: Hell yeah!_

_Carson: Even more nightmares to go around…_

_Elizabeth: That was kinda classy…in a disturbing way…_

_Teyla: MANY things around here are disturbing._

_Elizabeth: Too true, too true._

51. I wish that you were the one that taught geometry in high school. I would have loved the way you would have said 'Fractals'.  
_  
Sheppard: Fractals? What are those?_

_McKay: -confused- It's a geometric pattern…_

_Lorne: Miko likes it though._

_Miko: Yeah I like playing the teacher to a brilliant student._

_McKay: -wimper- Miko? Are you TRYING to scar me here?!?_

_Miko: Revenge is dish best served cold, and this dish is liquid nitrogen, baby!_

_Radek: So sorry for you, boss…_

_Rodney: Yeah, well at least your desk isn't near hers!_

_Kate: Want some therapy?_

_Rodney: -grin-_

_Carson: And this is our cue…TO FLEE!!!!!_

_Sheppard: Excellent plan, Doc!_

(These three are from BookWorm who is still in the lead with number of lines submitted, lol!)

52. Are you sure you're not really a goddess? Because I've been worshiping you forever.

_Katie: Geez Sheppard, you're on a semi-classy roll tonight._

_Sheppard: Now if I could just get a date…_

_Carson: Talk to my new nurse…she likes your hair._

_Sheppard: -grin-_

_Carson: But if anything happens in my infirmary, YOU'RE the one who's responsible! You break it, mess it up or dirty it, you fix it!_

_Sheppard: Cool._

_Carson: Something tells me I'm going to regret this…_

53. I'll be the sex slave of your dreams…

_Elizabeth: Let me find where I put my handcuffs and you're on, Radek._

_Miko: And here I thought that Rodney and Kate were the kinky scientists!_

_Rodney: Even WE'RE not that kinky…_

_Sheppard: That's a whole side of Elizabeth and Dr. Z that I did NOT need to know about!_

_Carson: Me either…and as their physician I know a lot more than I ever wanted to already!_

54. Want to help me make sure the water of the North Pier is clean enough for bathing waters?

_Carson: Let's go!_

_Elizabeth: Somebody remind me to go on the intercom and tell everyone not to go near the North Pier for a few hours unless they want to be forever scarred._

_Radek: Must we tell Kavanaugh?_

_Elizabeth: Naw…let him be scarred!_

_Sheppard: Remind me to never make those two angry…_

_Carson: Amen to that, lad…_

55. I don't have a home planet…can I share yours?

_Sheppard: And Ronon comes through with one that won't make Dr. Beckett mad at him!_

_Ronon: I try._

_Carson: Try the new engineer…she thinks you're "tall, dark and dangerous", which is woman speak for, "I'd do him."_

_Ronon: Thanks Beckett._

_Carson: Why in the hell am I the one who's turning into the bloody matchmaker around here?_

_Sheppard: Because you're good at it?_

_Carson: Hmmm…maybe so…__  
_


	8. Chapter 8

_Yes...I know it has been eons since I've updated this, but I figured it was about time. As always, feel free to submit your ideas!  
_

* * *

_This one is from Hyper Caz._

56.Is that a Wraith stunner or are you just happy to see me?

_Sheppard: Teyla! Whoa!_

_Elizabeth: Oy...brain cannot compute..._

_Radek: I think the scar tissue in my brain is getting bigger..._

_The next few are from nwfairy, who is catching up with most lines submitted!_

57. Will you be my first lady of Infinity, so I can be the Nicest guy on Earth?

_Elizabeth_:_ You stole that from the B52's Song!_

_Sheppard: So? It was a good song!_

_Elizabeth: Yeah, but at least the rest of us don't have to steal song lyrics._

58. You wanted a sample of Earth Literture? I can lend you my copy of the Kama Sutra.

_Elizabeth: Who came up with that one?!?_

_Carson: I did._

_Sheppard: And it works??/_

_Carson: With mixed results..._

_Sheppard: How mixed?_

_Carson: I canna discuss it here._

_Sheppard: Whoa..._

59. Can I prove to you that my hair is just bed head?

_Rodney: Lame, Sheppard, so very lame..._

_Sheppard: I'm trying, okay!_

60. I think I have a nurses uniform that would fit you just right...

_Sheppard: Carson! You said that I couldn't be kinky in your infirmary!_

_Carson: Aye, lad. MY infirmary!_

61. Can you be my dirty little sercret?

_Lorne:That is the second pick up line that you stole from a song, sir._

_Shep: So?_

_Lorne: ..._

_Rodney: We SO need a copyright lawyer in this city.._

62. Would you like to know why I wear my kimono?

_Rodney: Miko!!!_

_Miko: -Smirks-_

_Lorne: They're easy to get off. -grin-_

_Rodney: ARGH!_

63. Very rarely do I come unarmed, whatever the battle may be.

_Carson: How well does this one work, Ronan?_

_Ronan: -Smirks-_

_Radek: You just HAD to ask..._

_These two are from BookWorm_

64. Are you sure I'm not dead? Because being next to you is like being in heaven...

_Sheppard: Is anyone besides me disturbed that the Ascended beings took time to drop a pick up line?_

_Elizabeth: Trust me, John...we're ALL disturbed by that one!_

65. Are you sure you're not a Wraith? Because you stun me every time I see you.

_Teyla: If you would care to make a closer examination, Carson..._

_Elizabeth: NOT in the infirmary! You two have already broken enough equipment in there as it is and the SGC is getting suspicious!_

_These are from flubber. Keep rockin' 'em!_

66. I'll be your DHD. You can dial my address any time!

_Sheppard: And Chuck doesn't waste any time..._

_Chuck: With the life expectancy of gate dialers around here, I can't afford to!_

_Elizabeth: That's true..._

67. You are my Queen and I am a Pawn in your hands.

_Rodney: Enough with the chess!_

_Miko: For once Rodney, I agree with you._

_Lorne: You two agree?!? It's the Apocalypse!_

68. You are the brightest star in two galaxies.

_Dr. Nev Harris, astronomer_

_Kate: Awww...I kinda like this one._

_Rodney: But I'm not an astronomer!_

_Kate: I know...but you're becoming quite the biologist..._

_Radek: Run away!_

_Elizabeth: Oh yeah..._

69. You are so beautiful you send me into orbit!

_Cadman: Cauldwell, go home. Just...go home._

_Elizabeth: No kidding. With lines like that, it's no wonder he's getting desperate._


	9. Chapter 9

Oy...no updates again for awhile. Bad me! Bad me

* * *

70. You can warm up my hyperdrive any day of the week.  
_Lindsay: (hiccup) Um, Hermiod, you're a little...short...for me. (hiccup)_

Elizabeth: Oh great! Now we're even corrupting the Asguard!

Sheppard: Well, I think General O'Neill got around to that long before we did.

Jack: Oh yeah. You should hear Thor! He talks like a pimp now.

Elizabeth: I SO don't want to know any more...

71. I'm attracted to you like a drone is to Sheppard's Helicopter  
_Sheppard: Hey Rodney, that happened ONCE and it was CARSON'S fault, not mine!_

Carson: I wasna even aimin' for ye anyway! If I wanted ta take you out, I'd do it during yer physical!

Sheppard: Note to self-do NOT go to the infirmary.  
  
72. You and I register brighter than anything else on the life signs scanner.  
_Rodney: RADEK! Oh for pete's sake._

Teyla: I will never be able to look at one of the scanners in the same way ever again.

Ronon: No kidding.

73. You are more addicting then any enzyme I know of .  
_Sheppard: How in the hell did Ford manage to sneak in and out of here?!_

Rodney: Probably while Miko was distracting Lorne.

Sheppard: Hoo boy...we have GOT to tighten security around here...

74. You are my lemon. Everytime I see you I go into shock.  
_Carson: Only you could take an allergy and make a pickup line out of it, Rodney._

Rodney: Hey, I don't have the reputation of being a genius for nothing!

Kate: Besides, he goes into shock for other things as well. -grin-

Carson: RUN AWAY!!

75. I'm comfortable in suits...most of all my birthday suit.  
_Elizabeth: WOOLSEY! GO HOME!_

Sam: That I did NOT need to comtemplate!

Cadman: I don't think anybody wanted to know that. -shudder-


End file.
